Squal’s Cat II: Frisky Friday
It was the day before the equivalent of what Halloween would be in the land of Final Fantasy VIII, and Squall was sitting on the couch with his cat Purina. However, after Squall left Purina to take the wrap for killing the kid from Kingdom Hearts, a small schism had been placed on the two of their relationship. Purina was only happy that the court let him off with a short sentence, because a new Kingdom Hearts game hadn’t been made in like ten years or something.
But how could Purina stay mad at his human? After all, Squall was Purina’s human, and Purina knew that Squall loved him, because he always fed him at the same time each night, and occasionally gave him things to bat around in the shape of mice. It was nice.
Suddenly as Purina was just about to fall asleep on the couch, Squall jumped up in complete surprise!
“I forgot tomorrow is the equivalent to Halloween in the world in which I live in,” Squall exclaimed. “I also forgot that there are kids who live on my street who have a peanut allergy, and they’ll be sad if they don’t get some allergy free candy,” he continued. However, Purina didn’t care, cause Purina didn’t know what candy was… Cause he’s a cat.
So Squall grabbed Purina up off the couch, and together the two of them went to their garage to their new sports Chocobo, which is like a Ferrari, but it’s not, because it’s actually a bird.
Squall decided that he needed to drive to the nearest candy store, but realized that most of the candy would be sold out, because he waited too long. So instead, he grabbed the candy that he left in the trunk of his Sports Chocobo, hoping that it wouldn’t be all melted and instead of going to the candy store, Squall took Purina and the candy to the one place he knew he could make it allergy free! He took them to a wizard.
Once at the door at the wizard store, Squall knocked, and the wizard answered. Unfortunately for Squall, it was his ex girlfriend, and Purina’s mortal nemesis… Rhinoa. Squall hadn’t spoken much to her since he left her for his hot teacher, and suddenly felt silly for having driven to the wizard store only to run into her, of all people.
“Hey,” Squall said uncomfortably.
“What do you want,” Rhinoa said surprised to see him.
“I need you to use your magic wizard power to turn my regular candy into a hypoallergenic candy for the kid on my block that can’t eat candy that isn’t hypoallergenic.”
“Ok, but you can’t bring your cat into the room with the magic candy,” Rhino said trying to force Squall to put down Purina. Purina didn’t like that one bit. He still never forgave Rhinoa for what happened to him. Even though Squall killed that kid from Kingdom Hearts, Purina still blamed Rhinoa, because cats sometimes hold grudges that don’t make sense.
“I have to bring Purina with me,” Squall said. “He’s my service cat that I got after I got PTSD from saving the world, he I need him with me.”
“Ok,” Rhinoa said as she let the two of them in.
Inside, Rhinoa told Squall to put the candy on the table so that they can turn this into hypoallergenic candy, so everyone on the block could enjoy the festivities, and candy.
“I’m a little rusty at candy magic, so you’ll have to excuse me,” Rhinoa said.
“It’s ok, as long as we don’t kill my neighbor kids, we should be ok,” Squall said.
So Rhinoa grabbed her magic wizard stuff and began to prepare to cast a spell. With a sense of uncertainty, she began to proceed.
“Hocus Pocus Magic McCatus” Rhinoa said waving her wizardy wand around doing magic stuff. However, something went wrong. Instead of turning the candy into hypoallergenic, she switched both Purina and Squall’s consciousness.
Rhinoa stared at Squall unaware of what she had done. She thought she did the magic thing well, and that the candy was now good to eat by everybody.
“There, is there anything else,” Rhinoa asked.
“Meow,” said Squall.
“Very funny, but can I do anything else for you?”
“Meow,” said Squall again.
It was at that moment that Squall dropped down to the floor and attempted to clean his legs with his tongue and… “Oh No,” Purina thought. “I’m a disgusting human now!” So purina turned to look at his cat body where he saw his former body staring all confused.
However, Kitty Squall didn’t see this as a bad thing. In fact Kitty Squall saw this as an opportunity to get closer to his ex girlfriend, who he totally still had feelings and stuff for. So Kitty Squall brushed up against Rhinoa, because it’s not harassment if you’re a cat. This, of course, appalled Purina as his physical body was being forced to touch the one person he hated more anything anything. So Purina ran up to himself and kicked himself away from Rhinoa, whilst screaming “MEOW!”
Finally realizing her mistake, Rhinoa picked up Kitty Squall, and held him in her hands and began to pet him. Squall liked this, and Purina was filled with rage. However, before Purina could retaliate, she began to cast the spell to reverse the effects of the original spell.
Thus both Squall and Purina were back in their own bodies. Rhinoa apologized to Squall for her terrible wizardry, and the two hugged each other. Purina was upset that his body now smelled like Rhinoa, and it was terrible. So Squall picked up both the candy and Purina and went back home to celebrate the festivities.
Later that evening, after all the kids came by and go their candy, Squall remembered that he had forgotten to actually have the spell cast on the candy, and that his neighbor actually ate the candy. Squall’s heart sank as he realized that he probably killed the second kid in a certain amount of weeks, and he fled, leaving Purina back at home.
It wasn’t until an hour later that the police arrived at Squall’s house and arrested Purina for accidentally killing that poor child who ate that candy made from peanut byproducts. This was the second time that Squall had left poor Purina to take the fall, and Purina vowed it would also be his last…
To Be Continued…
drunkenfanfiction 